Personal Posts of Pie0

Everybody is inherently selfish and manipulative.

I am in a severe down right now. Not as bad as last years, but significantly bad.

I would do anything to change the core parts of myself. I don’t want to trust so easily, I do not want to care so easily. I want to stop wanting to help everyone. I just want to stop it.

I’m becoming more angry and more hateful the last few weeks. With a bit of luck the actions of people the last few months will push me over the edge and I’ll learn to be selfish.

People are evil.

People tell me a lot of my characteristics are unique. Yeah, because a lot of you fuck the people over who are trying to do good things. How about raher than speculating on how caring ia am, you stop being a selfish cunt that hurts people.

My depression is severely coming back, and with that the suicidal thoughts. As alwAys ill do my bett to sta strong.

I have 2 choices, be kind, compassionate and caring, and get hurt CONSTANTLY. be cold and manipulative and selfish, and hate myself. And I chose the first but the second always sounds less painful.

Ive really given up on anyone having a good heart.

I know a few of you still follow me.

You, you talk about how the world should be accepting and a great person to live. You said you fell for me, conveniently after I lent you a few grand. I was an idiot, but an idiot who had loved you for a year and a half. There wasn’t much I wouldnt have done for you. But to treat me as shit as you did. You told me that i treated you tons better than anyone else you knew, including your family. Then those moths passed and your apatheticness. You never deserved me. But after all i did, not even replying…

You, we only just started get g good friends after it happened but to totallydisrespect me on our date night, and then be so unsorry, especially after you called the aforementioned girl a cunt for it, you a cunt by your own standards. By mine, it makes you a fucking awful asshole. You wonder why everyone thinks you are a slut, with your lack of care for eho you sleep with, and the ‘artisitic photos’ you post of yourself. They’re not artistic, they’re slutty. You fake being friends with people and then you complained about them to me, If only they knew. I would never tell, I’m not as much of a cunt as you. I deserved a reply too.

You, you were a fuxking awful ex and I get I didn’t get my stuff but you had just treated my family like shit and I was in a different country. But you were a cunt when we were together and now you’re with a cunt. You’re good for each other, and I haven’t missed you. Only the feeling of having someone.

You, i miss the shit out of our friendship. I know there are other people, but seeing you with your new best friend. It still hurts. I still don’t think I did anything wrong, but I know there are other people helping sway the vote and there’s nothing I can do.

I have an OCD and it pisses me off when people say “Oh, I’m OCD”

Being clean is NOT an OCD. Being neat is not an OCD. It’s maybe a compulsion, but 95% of the people who say they have an OCD are self-diagnosed and it’s not true.

Living with OCD can be really fucking difficult. I have it quite light as my OCD is caused by a certain series of words. But I can’t help it and I hate it. It’s made me break down when people have used it.

So stop saying you’re OCD.

In 2008, I was living in America and I put on a ton of weight. I was happy, well, suicidal but happy. I was also earning well, and I thought my life was void of a lot of the issues I’d had for a few years.

In 2009, I was just back home in the UK. My ex-fiancee had dumped me. I was devastated; this girl was my life. I used to spend $15k+ on her a year, and accommodate my life around her (I moved 2 continents for her). I felt like my life had come to an end. I was so deeply depressed a lot of my friends had to drop. My huge appetite disappeared. I lost all my appetite and every time I eat, I threw it up. I have memories of trying to eat a cookie while in the city. My body decided that it wouldn’t hold it, and embarrassingly while walking through the street I had to jump to a wall and be sick. The looks I got… killed me. After a while I managed to curb it, I’d already lost 80lbs by this time.

Thing is, I still have some major body issues. Something I don’t think I’ve admitted in a year. I really hate my body. My barrel chest, no matter how skinny I get, I’ll always have this huge fucking chest, and so on.

The weird/sad thing is; I’d rather show someone my dick, than my stomach area. Just some things you can never shake.

Thing is; some guys think that because I’m a nice guy, that I must be somewhat nice all the way through. I do like a lot of people, but truth is; I am just passionate… with my hate or my love.

Truth is, I have a lot of hate and bitterness inside me. I don’t fake the niceties, I just very rarely ever show the hate. Truth is I have a lot of hate, a lot of hate for the people that deserve, the immature assholes out there and the haters. The people who make this world a worse place.

If you piss me off, chances are I’ll expect you to make up to me. I have a lot of friends, a ton. While I appreciate each individual one, I won’t fight for someone who won’t do what’s necessary to keep me.

Listen to an Eminem song, the hate he has inside him. And you’ll have an idea of what sort of hate I have inside me. I am a very angry person, I always have been. My whole life I’ve been suicidal and angry. Partly due to my dark childhood, but also due to the hate of the fucked up world.

Truth is; I can’t stand this world. I can’t stand the people on it. I always wonder if I truly have met someone else with the same values of myself. When I do think so, I’m always disappointed. Is that vain of me? Hell yes. But I haven’t really been proved wrong yet. I’m not truly vain, but I am vain about a few things… such as the way I value friendships.

If I was not in the career I was in, I very much likely would be in Human Sexuality psychology. It’s a subject I almost left my established career for, a few years ago. Everyone likes, loves, masturbates and has sex differently, and take different things out of it. It is a huge part of what defines us.

So a friend asked earlier “Why do guys hate eating out girls out?” The truth is;

• Most guys aren’t good at it.
• It may take you a while to orgasm, and guys will take that as a shortcoming of their own.
• Guys think the only reason to go down on you is to make you orgasm.
• They give up instantly and don’t invest in learning how to do it right.
• You don’t give them enough direction.

I personally have read books on the subject, and made sure to ask (after the fact, in a calm environment) if there was anything else I could do.

Most guys view sex as the end result; orgasming. However, orgasming is not always an end for a girl, as they can orgasm multiple times. Also; because girls tend (but not always) be more emotional about sex than guys. Some girls would be quite happy without cumming, as long as there was sufficient awesome sexual activity, where as a lot of guys would not.

If your guy is not doing well, don’t immediately accuse them of being bad. Your guy will get offended, and defensive. Most likely shooting down any further chance on the discussion. You need to slowly ease him into the idea.

Or just randomly mention that you “saw this awesome post on Tumblr” and it sounded good or something you should try out. It’s also best if you can make him think it’s HIS idea.

If he doesn’t usually do it, tell him to his face that you think it would be really fun and naughty for him to do it. Or direct him to kiss you and point. Going over your body until you get down to your vagina. And then direct him “lick this”, “kiss this”, “suck this”, etc.

One big help in your quest to get eaten out, is to shave or wax. Now you may hate the idea of shaving, but make sure to shave at least your vagina area itself (the vulva), and trim elsewhere.

Also, tell him how you’ll “get him back” for it. Don’t make it about tit for tat though; do not make him believe that he has to give you head, for you to give him, or that you will every time. But let him know if he does it, that you may be in the mood to be extra nice to him. The chances are, this is true. If you are sexually fulfilled, you will be more likely to give him more of what he wants, right?

Don’t fake. Whatever you do, do not fake an orgasm to please him. This is lying, an not a recommended part of any relationship in any form. Faking will also lead him to believe he got it right, which if he hasn’t, will just frustrate you more.

Tell him how you’ve read sex tips or such to help with your sexual skills, or how you have a friend who did (don’t let it sound like an imaginary friend) to be better at going down on a girl. Let him know it’s normal, and not weird, nor does it make him any less of a man.

If you slightly increase your praise on what a man he is, the chances are when you do talk to him (sometime later) about him doing this, he shall be less defensive. Comment more on his large manhood (if it’s obviously not, then pick something else) or how strong he is, or how he makes you feel safe. He needs to know that though he can’t eat you out well, he can fulfil you in other ways.

The truth is; you probably think of sex differently than he does. Be honest, and non-attacking (best to sit somewhere you both feel safe), discuss it with him openly and let him understand what you need him to. 

Lastly, be patient and let him know it’s just about you two having fun. And that you like/love him any way.

If you do want to get him a book, or he wants one; then I recommend this one… She Comes First

Being a vegetarian or vegan does not make you a better person. It is more obvious that you perhaps care about the community, but I will bet you that you do not necessarily care more than a meat eater.

At the end of the day; people care about the environment. People with all sorts of diets. So that’s my beef (pun intended)… whatever you eat; doesn’t change how much you care, it just means you don’t eat meat.

Being a vegetarian as most people are, isn’t always great for the environment. A lot of vegetables are imported from other countries, which affect animals. Pesticides for example are not known for being friendly. A lot of vegetarians I’ve known don’t eat free range eggs. Some eat Haribo, which is not vegetarian. I know some who wear leather. All in all; whether you do or you don’t… It does not mean you care any less about animals or the environment.

I am apparently hell bent on offending everyone.

But there’s one thing that REALLY gets to me on Tumblr, and that’s people who put “Vegetarian” or “Vegan” in their About Me section. I do not understand this. You do not put any other dietary requirements on your blog? So why these ones.

I think it’s absolutely amazing that you are standing up for your beliefs. That indeed is a wonderfully beautiful thing, but to say “Vegetarian” or “Vegan”, something that only defines the collective 30-90 minutes of food you have every day? This is especially when people put their Age, location and then “Vegetarian” and nothing else.

Do you know? I won’t eat dog, cat, faeces, shark fin, turtle, or anything cruel to animals, but I will damn near and damn do eat anything else. This does not make a difference to who I am.

I am meant to eat 2550 calories a day, but on some days I eat more, and some days I eat less. But you for sure won’t find that in my About Me section. Because that’d be silly.

I have a multi-faceted belief system; I stand up for so many different things, as I am sure you do, but you have neglected to mention all the other things you stand up for. So why put it if you won’t put the rest? What makes it different? Why the need to tell everyone else that you’re eating Unduck or Teese.

Carry on being a vegetarian, it’s not for me. But there must be more important things that make you who you are, than you fact you don’t eat meat?

I eat a ton of meat, don’t worry, enough to make up for the fact that you are not, but it doesn’t define me in the slightest.

AIM/MSN/gmail/Facebook/etc

I’m going to ignore this unhappiness and do something I enjoy instead. Meeting new people.